Spicy Whole Roasted Chicken

I hardly ever buy whole chickens, and I can't even remember the last time I did, but apparently it was long ago enough that I forgot the horrors of dealing with said chicken. Kroger had the whole chickens for a good price last week, so I thought that a nice roast chicken sounded great as I thought of my Mum's incredible Sunday roasts.

In reality it went something like this:

Get chicken out of fridge
Think this isn't so bad, I can deal with a little chicken
Put chicken in sink and start cutting off wrapper
Get wrapper half off, see some kind of wing and break out into a cold sweat
Remove the wrapper, chicken rolls around in sink, start dry heaving a little
Realise there are chicken innerds to be removed
Start attacking the inside of chicken with a pair of tongs, scream every time tongs touch anything remotely innerd like
Pick up phone and scream like a baby at the hubby while poking tongs at chicken cavity
Listen to the hubby laugh hysterically and threaten to put you on speakerphone so the whole office can hear
Thank the hubby for all his support, put down phone and start contemplating ordering a pizza for dinner
Pull self together and get chicken in roasting pan, season and put in oven
Turn attention to the sink full of chicken innerds
Weigh pros and cons of trashing said innerds or shoving them down the garbage disposale
Close eyes, try and pick up innerds with tongs, stumble to the trash can while dry heaving a little
Call mother in England, never mind the fact that it's midnight her time, get defensive when she insists that this is not the kind of emergency situation that requires waking her up at midnight
Decide that no matter how delicious roast chicken is, it's not worth the trauma!


3lb whole chicken
1 onion
1 tbsp olive oil
2 tsp paprika
2 tsp aleppo pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp ceyenne pepper
1/4 tsp dried rosemary
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper

Pre-heat oven to 400, quarter onion and place inside chicken. Mix all the seasonings together, rub oil into chicken and cover with seasoning mix.

Roast in oven for 30 minutes, reduce temp to 350, roast for additional 30-40 minutes, until the juices run clear.

Rest chicken for 10 minutes before carving.